


What to Do When Your Naga Boyfriend Kidnaps You

by Kaysigns



Series: Four Human-Eating Monsters and An Apathetic Florist [13]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Animal Death, Attempted Kidnapping, Deceit | Janus Sanders Being an Idiot, M/M, Sort Of, Tumblr Ask Box Fic, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:34:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29076426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaysigns/pseuds/Kaysigns
Summary: Humans are weak creatures compared to the other beings of this world, it makes sense for Janus to want to protect the one human he cares about.(takes place after To Take Someone's Breath Away)
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Series: Four Human-Eating Monsters and An Apathetic Florist [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1746241
Comments: 17
Kudos: 175





	What to Do When Your Naga Boyfriend Kidnaps You

**Author's Note:**

> Based on an anon ask I got: "when Virgil's dad meets the four, it comes up that Janus wouldn't let Virgil leave him sometimes earlier in their relationship...write about what that was like. I'm just imagining Janus grab onto Virge with his tail and not let him go for hours at a time. There was another part in the series where Virgil states how he once saw Janus eat a rabbit whole once too, and I think that's hilarious because all I can imagine for a situation like that to arise is Janus can't go hunt for human prey because that would mean his boyfriend would either get away / be forced to watch him eat someone (in the unlikely event that Janus could even hunt without letting go of Virgil). I'm just dead imagining that conversation. Oh god poor Janus. The awkwardness of it all. "I have work in thirty minutes seriously let me go" "shut up I love you""

Janus had known that human for three days. Three painfully awkward days where Virgil was clearly freaked out by everything Janus did, and Janus hated having to be around him while at the same time wanting to hold him for all eternity. It was a constant mess of mixed emotions and confusion, Janus was questioning whether he really wanted this or if it would just be more beneficial to eat him and forget this ever happened.

The way Virgil held him was the only thing preventing him from outright killing the human, though. Virgil had given him a single hug since they met, and it made him want to break down and cry, though he would never admit it. He had forgotten what hugs felt like, and while the human didn’t hold him anything like a naga, it felt familiar and comforting.

He hadn’t realized until the third day that he had been lonely out in the woods.

Virgil came out to his cave on the fourth day with some sort of cloth or paper covering his cheek. When asked about it, he pulled it off to reveal a bloody cut. “Some crazy shit happened at the flower shop today. It’s nothing too bad though, it’ll probably heal in the next week or something.”

Janus had expected him to say he got hurt in some sort of fight for territory, but no. He had gotten injured in a  _ flower shop? _ That’s so pathetic! He bit his tongue to stop him from just laughing at the human. Wow, humans were really weak enough to get hurt by flowers!

_ Wait, he could get hurt by flowers. He can die so easily. _ As Virgil talked about something involving a pair of scissors and a broken flower pot Janus tuned him out, the idea of Virgil’s weakness filling his mind.

This human was so weak, he was gonna get himself killed on his own. He looked Virgil up and down, eyes pausing on the cut for a moment. He wasn’t about to let him go out to die by something pathetic.

“What’re you looking at me like that for?” Virgil asked warily. Janus smiled.

“Nothing, Virgil, you were saying?”

* * *

A few hours had passed and the sun had begun to set when Virgil stood up and stretched. “Well, I’m headin’ back home.” He said with a yawn. “Need to make dinner and go to bed.”

“Could I come with you?” If he was leaving, the least he could do is follow him to make sure he didn’t get hurt. Virgil gave him a confused look.

“Uh...I’ve only known you for four days? I’m not really ready for that.”

“Ah, of course, of course.” Option B it was, then.

“See you tomorrow, Jan.” Janus hummed, waiting for Virgil to turn around to leave. That’s when he slithered into action, wrapping his tail around Virgil’s legs, then torso, then arms. Virgil screamed, eyes wide and full of panic, his heart pounding hard and fast against Janus’s tail. Janus draped his arms over Virgil’s shoulders, scanning his face.

“Is this too tight or can you breathe?”

“What the fuck—” Virgil wheezed. Janus loosened his grip a bit. “Lemme go you fucking asshole!”

“You’ll be alright, nothing’s going to hurt you, Virgil.”

“Great. Now let me go.”

“I’d rather not.” Virgil sighed, eyes narrowing.

“So you’re just gonna keep me here?”

“Perhaps, yes. All to protect you, love.”

“I don’t need protecting.”

“You got hurt by a flower!”

“I got hurt  _ in a flower shop _ , not  _ by a flower _ ! Fucking hell, Jan.” Janus waved his hand dismissively.

“Details, details, you’re safer here.” He grabbed a bag of trail mix Virgil had brought the day before, handing it to him. “Here, you can eat this.” He loosened his grip enough for Virgil to pull his arms out. The human sent him a glare, before snatching the bag away muttering “I knew dating you would be a bad idea.”

The words stung as they hit Janus’s ears, but he tried to ignore them. He’ll be happy to be here with him soon enough. Janus knew he was happy to have Virgil around, and the human’s warmth and comfort was definitely a bonus. Surely Virgil would be okay with this eventually. Surely.

The next morning Janus awoke to a very disgruntled human, his arms wrapped around Janus’s shoulders purely because there weren't many other comfortable positions to place them in. “Good morning.”

“You gonna let me go?”

“Not yet.” Virgil groaned.

“Janus, at least let me go to work.”

“Nope.” Virgil squirmed to grab his phone, pulling it out from under Janus’s tail and checking the time. He cursed, seeing he was already late. Well, at least he could play some games while he waited for the naga to get bored.

Janus peered over his shoulder as he looked through his games folder, watching intently as he picked one out. Well, nevermind. Guess he was entertaining both himself and his boyfriend.

* * *

“Janus, I’m bored! Lemme go!” By afternoon Virgil had resorted to whining, which Janus found to be adorable, much to his dismay.

“Nope.”

“I was supposed to call my dad today!”

“You can still call him.”

“You live in a cave, you don’t have wi-fi.” Janus raised an eyebrow.

“What is this wi-fi?” Virgil groaned.

“Seriously, why are you keeping me here? Are you really just that clingy? Will I have to deal with this all the time if we continue dating after this?”

“I am  _ not _ clingy.”

“You’re tail’s literally wrapped around me, but okay.”

“I’m simply keeping you safe. You humans are such weak little things, I don’t want you getting hurt.” Virgil’s eye twitched.

“Say that again?” The look the human was giving him made his heart leap into his throat, realizing immediately where he went wrong.

“I’m not saying you’re weak, Virgil, I’m just saying that humans in general—”

“Okay.” Virgil spoke with a sneer, looking back down at his phone.

“Virgil, humans are some of my prey. You’re the first one I’ve met that I haven’t killed. While some are pretty good at struggling, a lot just give in, and none have been able to give me a proper fight before they died.”

“Oh great, why don’t you tell me more about all the humans you’ve killed.” He stated sarcastically.

“Virgil—” The human’s eyes were wide and blank as his gaze dropped down to the tail wrapped around him.

“...How many people have you killed in the way you’re holding me right now?” Janus went silent. Virgil glanced at his face, resting his arms on one of Janus’s coils, letting out an exasperated, horrified laugh. “Holy fuck.”

Janus wanted to punch himself. He let his grip around Virgil loosen, until the human was able to move, though it would still take some effort to pull himself out. Virgil looked around as if debating whether to get out and run, but to Janus’s surprise he simply stayed there, one hand running through his hair while the other twisted the popsocket on the back of his phone, his gaze drifting down to the ground.

He wasn’t sure if he would be able to provide any comfort, but he tried anyway. He slithered slowly closer, coming up to Virgil’s back and gently draping his arms over Virgil’s shoulders from behind. Virgil took a shaky breath, but otherwise had no reaction.

“...We established from day one that I killed people.”

“I know.”

“You knew what sort of mess you would get into if you came back a second time.”

“I know.”

“So why did you?” Virgil moved his hand from his now-messy hair, hesitating before holding Janus’s hand.

“...’Cause you were hot.” Janus smirked.

“Well yes, that I am.”

“And the whole “soulmate” thing. We’re supposed to make this work. Whatever sort of being that matches soulmates said that we would work.”

“Well...then for that to happen you’ll have to be okay with me doing what I need to to survive. That being eating humans.” Virgil sighed, muttering out a quiet “you really had to say it” before nodding.

“Okay. But you’ll have to listen to me when I tell you I don’t need protecting. This whole kidnapping thing you did...is not it, chief.”

“Of course, that’s my bad.” Janus thought for a moment. “But really, how did you get hurt by a flower?”

“I will not hesitate to kill you.”

“Alright alright, I’ll ask again later.” Janus took a deep breath, marvelling in Virgil’s sweet scent for a moment.

“I really don’t see you as weak, Virgil. In fact you’re probably the strongest human I’ve met.” Janus thought for a moment. “Mentally, at least. Physically, I can’t lie, you’re a rather physically weak human.” Virgil chuckled.

“Gee, thanks.” He spoke sarcastically, but this time it had no real bite behind it. Janus hummed. “I’m guessing you want to head back home now? I have kept you here for a while.” Virgil ran his thumb across Janus’s knuckles. By now Janus’s tail had become rather warm from Virgil’s body heat, and he had learned on the second day with him just how much the naga valued warmth.

“Might as well stay a bit longer. I’m already like four hours late to work, there’s no point in going anymore.” Out of Virgil’s view Janus smiled excitedly.

“Could you stay for the rest of the day?” He asked slowly so as to disguise his excitement. Virgil shrugged as best he could.

“Alright, why the hell not?”

* * *

Another hour or two passed and the two decided to take a walk through the woods. Janus had begun to grow hungry; he hadn’t had a proper meal for about a week (Virgil was supposed to  _ be _ that meal, after all). He needed something to tide him over until Virgil left, worried that he would lose control and harm him.

Virgil seemed to sense his discomfort, seeing the hunger in his eyes as he glanced around for any animals. “Can you live off things that aren’t humans?”

“For short periods of time. If you’re asking that hoping I could escape my human-eating ways, I’m sorry to disappoint.” Virgil shrugged, catching a glimpse of a rabbit darting away. Janus didn’t seem to notice it, surprisingly enough.

“How does rabbit sound?” He asked with a smirk, pulling off his jacket. Janus turned to him with a deadpan stare.

“You really think you’re going to capture a rabbit with your jacket?”

“Trust me, my dad’s taught me a lot of random shit. He says he was trapped in the woods once and had to survive off wilderness animals, but I’m pretty sure he was just a cub scout and wanted to make it sound cooler than it is.”

“Ah.” Janus added “cub scouts” to the list of human things he didn’t know about. He followed silently behind Virgil as he crept up to the rabbit. For a human, he was surprisingly silent, it even impressed Janus.

The rabbit had frozen in place, its ears twitching. It turned to look at Virgil, and that’s when he pounced, slamming the jacket down around it as it squeaked in surprise. He carefully pulled the rabbit-filled jacket into his arms, handing it over to the naga.

“Bon appetit.”

“Impressive.” Janus pulled the rabbit out, handing the jacket back to Virgil. He felt bad killing it in front of him, though; he knew how much humans cared for animals. So he went with what he assumed would be the slightly better option.

He allowed for his jaw to unhinge as he awkwardly stuffed the still squirming rabbit into his mouth and down his throat. Virgil’s face contorted into a wide-eyed look of scared confusion, disgust, horror, and morbid fascination as he stared silently at the display.

As Janus swallowed Virgil watched, his face moving away from confusion and simply fixing on horror as the rabbit-sized lump squirmed down Janus’s esophagus, until it eventually stopped moving and entered his snake belly.

“...I could’ve gone my whole life without seeing that.” Janus hummed.

“I would usually kill them first, but I thought that would upset you.”

“I would’ve preferred you killing it first.” Janus nodded, taking note of that. A cursed thought popped into Virgil’s head that he couldn’t stop thinking of. “So you’re basically voring corpses?” 

“I have no idea what this “voring” thing is, but I’d rather you didn’t tell me.” Virgil nodded quickly, pulling on his jacket. He took a deep breath, trying to force the image of Janus’s unhinged jaw out of his mind, then began walking back in the direction of Janus’s cave.

“I think I’ve had enough nature for the day. Kinda wanna head home.” Janus slithered after him, admittedly not ready to have him leave yet.

“...Could I come with you then? For just tonight?” Virgil glanced back at the naga, before rolling his eyes.

“You clingy motherfucker.” He said with a chuckle. “Sure, why not?”

**Author's Note:**

> this fic went all kinds of ways I wasn't expecting, I'll be honest. Consider this like the origin story as to how Virgil grew to be apathetic towards death :)


End file.
